


Bottom of the Ocean

by insectcondo



Category: Half-Life
Genre: Half-Life VR But the AI is Self-Aware, Other, spoilers for the End
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:01:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24938710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/insectcondo/pseuds/insectcondo
Summary: Benrey in his own personal hell after game...
Comments: 3
Kudos: 45





	Bottom of the Ocean

**Author's Note:**

> based on the song Bottom of the Ocean by Blink 182. 
> 
> Damn that shit hurted. This started as a poem but it turned to prose.

There is nothing in the void. The darkness was oppressive and thick. It would have been hard to breathe if Benrey had to - but he didn't, at least not anymore - not in this state.   
He stayed there, suspended for days - or was it weeks? He didn't need to sleep, so there was nothing to stop his thoughts from spilling in constantly. Of course, a punishment worse than death would to not be braindead - conscious in the void. 

He couldn't tell if he was still giant or if his size was more proportional to normal - but figured that didn't matter either - he certainly wasn't Xen, though he knew - not now, anyway.  
Sometimes, he would hear the Science Team's voices. He would look all around himself before realizing it was just another hallucination. They all got out. He was alone - and would be alone for the rest of eternity. 

Sometimes he pretended to have conversations with Gordon, responding to his voice he heard off in the distance - frantic and annoyed as always.   
It was always different kinds of apologies, but apologies are easy to come by when all you have is time, and your thoughts trying to kill you every second - especially since he didn't sleep, so there was no break from this realm.

One day, he ran out of words, and all he could use was his sweet voice - the humming sounding far less natural - as if it was coming from someone else. He wasn't sure what colours were coming out since his brain was becoming less and less sure of anything. 

He had no way of gauging the time in the complete darkness. In this hell. In this prison. There was no wake cycle, no moon cycle, nothing that a human used to keep in touch with the time. There was nothing except his brain - and even that was breaking - if it had ever been whole. 

Then he broke down completely. Maybe this is what it takes to humble a god. Is that what he was? What authority did he even have? How could a god have gone through this fate? He was supposed to be immortal dammit, how could he have died? Then the anger melted away. He cried. He cried with everything he never felt before. He cried for being the one to fuck up Gordon's life, but he also cried for himself. He cried for his broken heart, and the things he left unsung. At what a fucking idiot he had been.   
Benrey hung there, torn and raw - like a cut that just stopped bleeding. 

He wanted to find a way to shut his brain off - to not allow it to torture him anymore - but you can't die while you're dead.

And so as Gordon and the rest were back - safe - Benrey would remain there - frozen and suspended in the void until the game was reset.


End file.
